The Day I Found My Reflections in Others

For most of my life, I didn’t feel like I truly belonged. I moved to the United States with hope in my heart…but something was always missing. I've never felt truly home anywhere.

Yes, there were familiar faces, childhood friends, colleagues, people I could share a laugh with, study with, work alongside. But rarely, did I feel seen soul to soul.

There were seasons of loneliness I didn’t speak of, times I was surrounded by people and still felt invisible. In college, I gave, helped, supported — only to be used, gossiped about, or quietly dismissed. Especially among women, I found myself guarded. I kept my distance, thinking maybe I was just “too sensitive.” or maybe connection, at a deeper level, just wasn’t meant for me.

But the truth was, I was attracting from a wounded frequency —drawing in people who mirrored my unhealed pain - abandonment, jealousy, insecurities. All of it was showing me what still lived inside me, waiting to be healed. And yet…Yesterday, something shifted.

I attended a Reiki Level I class. I went in with simple intentions — to learn a healing modality, to expand. I didn’t expect much more, especially not connection.

When I found out the class was entirely women, my guard went up. The past whispered,"Get ready to be excluded again." But the present had something else in mind.

One by one, we introduced ourselves, and something in me stirred. These women weren’t just “students.” They were healers, survivors, truth-seekers. Each story held a thread of something sacred —trauma transmuted into purpose, adversity softened into light.

The synchronicities kept unfolding. One woman shared her love of hummingbirds, and I told her the story of how a hummingbird showed up after my father passed, bringing with it a wave of healing and peace I desperately needed. She showed me her painting titled “Rebirth” — with a hummingbird at its center. Then, as if Spirit was orchestrating the scene itself,a real hummingbird appeared in the courtyard behind me, right where we were sitting for lunch. We both froze, eyes wide, hearts open. It was Confirmation, that we were meant to meet, that something unseen had brought us together, not just for Reiki — but for remembrance.

The rest of the day unfolded like a soft unfolding of petals. We practiced. We meditated. We shared. We gave and received Reiki with quiet trust and intuitive presence. I found myself speaking up, sharing my experiences openly — something I used to dread. There was no overthinking, no rehearsing. The words simply flowed from my heart.

That’s when I realized…It wasn’t that I lacked a voice before. It was that my voice had been trapped behind inauthenticity, fear, and illusion. Now, it had a clear channel, because I wasn’t trying to be anything. I was just being.

During our Reiki attunement, a moment of clarity washed over me. Tears welled up. I saw myself at hospice, gently placing my hands on someone who was nearing their final breath —offering comfort, calm, presence.I knew in that instant:I want to bring healing to those in transition,not to fix or change anything, but to be there, to offer relief, to carry light into the shadows. This is part of my calling. My higher self whispered it clearly, and I listened.

As I left that day, I realized something sacred had taken place.The walls around my heart had softened. I had met women who felt me, not just heard me, not just smiled politely — but saw me. The difference? I’ve changed. My frequency has shifted. I’ve done the inner work. I no longer attract people from my wounded self. Now, I attract those who mirror my healing. I didn't have to chase, control, or predict. I simply followed the breadcrumbs.

I showed up — and the path showed itself.

Reiki Level II is already in the works for August. The journey continues, and I trust it will unfold the same way —with grace, surprise, and the quiet orchestration of the unseen.

If you’re reading this and have felt out of place, misjudged, or invisible — please know: You are not broken. You are just becoming. And the ones who are meant to walk beside you…will find you when you begin walking in truth. The heart knows when it has arrived home.

With love and gratitude,

Solarys